Sport always involves winning and losing. At its purest, it is a fight of two people, teams, or individuals against their own boundaries. When talking about sports, words like self-confidence, courage, fear of failure, etc. often appear in conversations. In recent years, vulnerability have also been included in the discussions. In her book Dare to lead – Dr Brenè Brown describes the vulnerability as follows: emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. According to her vulnerability is not winning or losing. It
s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome. Vulnerability is surrender to the situation and if you try to avoid it, or you begin to avoid uncomfortable feelings, then you also stop growing. In this way you will deny yourself the opportunity to find your potential. So in the end, vulnerability is not a weakness, in fact, it is the opposite. It shows inner strength and integrity. It is courage and being brave.
The coach’s most important tool is his or her own identity, which makes it very personal and vulnerable. Coach has to face, and be able to deal, a lot of different kind of expectations from players, parents, club or media. However, even the best coach does not always succeed in everything. There are a lot of things in sports that we can’t fully control, like an opponent or the result. However, mistakes, losses and get fired from coaching job are part of the learning process. When you do your best and still fail, it is the best gift you can get.Without mistakes we don’t know what we could do better, and if we never make mistakes we haven’t tried enough. This is why it is important that players will see you as you truly are. Especially in difficult moments, when everything didn’t go like you wanted, and as a coach you show your feelings its sign of courage. It makes you give up your role as a coach and look like a human being. And this creates trust and a deeper connection between you and your players.
As a coach, we often talk to players that they should leave their comfort zone to evolve. What this means for the coach? First you need to accept yourself as you are and understand that no one is perfect. After that, you have to go out there. Do your best and also accept all the feelings related to vulnerability such as disappointment, shame and anxiety. These emotions tell you that you care (if you didn’t care, why would it worry you). It’s also telling about your courage to face these feelings. Live fully in every moment and face the result as it is. Be proud of yourself and remember everyone wants to be courageous but no on wants to be vulnerable.
You can learn more about this topic by listening to the Flying Coach podcast by renowned famous American coaches Steve Kerr (Golden State Warriors, NBA) and Pete Carroll (Seatle Seahawks, NFL), where Brenè Brown visited. She joins the conversation when the program is remaining 29min.
”vulnerability is not weakness it’s our greatest measure of courage.”
”You cannot unlock potential if you cannot unlock people.”
”I don’t know any people who get the skill before being vulnerable first”
”Is it more important for you to be knower or learner?”Brenè Brown
Watch more from Brenè Brown TED talk from: The price of Vulnerability
See also. Brenè Brown TED talks from: The power of Vulnerability